Let's be honest

So, if I’ve written one blog post since the last one I’ve written one hundred.
Nothing seemed worthwhile! Even the pumpkin cheesecake. For the first time ever I was just like 'no one wants to hear about anything I do, I have nothing to write'.
Then I realised it's time to be honest.
I know this has never been a blog where I pour my soul out or really talk much about my actual life but I guess it's time now to start. Just a little bit.

Maybe it'll mean you get to know me a little more. I must say one thing though, what I’m about to type isn't me as I am always, just right now. I'd hate you all to think I’m some morose, jobless girl who moans a lot, I’m not i promise!

I haven't been blogging or doing much recently because I’m unemployed. I say that and for the first time since it's been this way I’ve not made a joke... Not made it sound like it's even remotely fun. It isn't! I said this would be honest and it will be!

Since returning from Italy I have tried. Really hard! It has probably been one of the most testing experiences of my life. I'm not a student, I’m not an official 'job seeker', and I’m not even a traveller. I'm doing nothing. I sit day to day trying to fill up the time, frantically checking emails the second they arrive thinking it could be job news. More often than not it isn't. Because of this I’m not myself right now, having spent time with a friend in the same position as me today and properly talking about it I’ve realised this is normal! The pair of us are well rounded, confident, pretty good all round girls yet it feels like we're unemployable. Both with good degrees from quality universities yet it seems like no one wants either of us.

I know this feeling is temporary and one day it'll look up but I wanted to explain to you all where I’ve been mentally. It's not that there hasn't been time to blog (there has I assure you) but my headspace has currently lost a little bit of my former sheer enthusiasm.

It won't be this way always I promise but I have realised I’ve been rather neglectful of my little online space. I promise I’ll begin to update it like I use to one day in the future, just be patient with me and I promise I’ll be a good blogger again. Maybe I’ll even write that pumpkin cheesecake recipe and tell you all about almost burning down my house with pumpkin seeds.

Kate x

1 comment:

  1. Oh Kate! So glad you wrote this post.. You're not alone! I have recently quit my au pair job, and I'm in the exact same situation, and feel the exact same way. I think you're really brave to write it all down and say it like it is. I know you've said this to me before and I didn't but if you ever feel like talking to a blog friend, feel free to send an email my way :) Some say this should be the most exciting time of our lives, well all I know is that right now, it just sucks, but it won't be like that forever. Someone will employ us!!! (fingers and toes crossed) XOXO

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